Dealing With Depression - Tips To Get Up From Rock BottomThe Lunch Box Diet

I spend some of my time looking around weight loss internet forums like 3fatchicks and see a lot of conversation going on about various topics and of course, a lot of them are cries for help and people wanting to find out about dealing with depression… so I wanted to write this post to anyone that feels a little bit on the edge. I’m hoping that it will provide some insight and give motivation if you feel like everything is crumbling around you. I want you to break out…

Unfortunately I need to start the post on a sad note, but there is light at the end of the tunnel…

This week has been another depressing week – we’ve lost a national hero in the form of Gary Speed. At the moment, everyone’s in complete shock. He seemed so happy, there were no tale tale signs that he was suffering from depression, he was speaking on the BBC show Football Focus only a few hours before and showed no indication that he had anxiety or was going to take his own life. I really feel for his two children and wife, I really do, I can’t imagine anything like that happening.

Then, last week a national hero in the form of Angie Dowds, an inspiration to those who wanted to lose weight on the ITV show The Biggest Loser, took her own life from the cliffs of surrey. Another shock, another life taken away, someone who could have made a difference to so many others…

Now I can honestly say that I’ve never considered taking my own life, but I certainly consider myself as someone who doesn’t deals with situations brilliantly all of the time – that’s why I’m constantly learning and always try and surround myself with positive material to pick me up if I’m down and if I see anybody in a spot of bother on something like facebook, I shoot them a quick PM to a solution if I can think of one.

Unfortunately I feel that a lot of people who need self help tend to avoid it, for whatever reason that may be. Sometimes I suggest something to someone and they give me a strange look and get defensive. The first sign that there are real problems. It can have devastating effects if you’re not willing to admit that you need some kind of help.

It was when I was doing my personal training diploma in Cyprus years ago that I realised how stressful the UK is. So many things going on – the bills are coming in, people are stressed, we’re all invited to eat crap food and it all leads to a spiral that can go out of control. Of course, some of us are more expressive about our feelings and others let their feelings out. I am one of the latter – normally my friends know if there’s stuff going on, I’m quite verbal about it.

I can remember a few years back, one of my friends lost his mum and at the time I was quite young. So was he. At the time, we didn’t really speak to him much after she died. I guess we thought he needed space, where later I discovered that he wanted us to speak to him and communicate – be there for him. Was I wrong? Was he wrong for not asking to see us? Of course not, but now with hindsight I wish I had called him to give him a shoulder to cry on so he could deal with the depression more effectively.

The point I want to make here is that I think what seems right to us is often not to the other person. The UK is especially bad for not being open and chatting to each other. Have you ever been abroad and everyone is just so happy and friendly, yet you come to the UK, everyone is up tight – just hit the public transport system and you’ll see that. Socially we’re not the creatures we should be. I can’t put my finger on what that is, maybe you can shed some light…

I’m learning more and more about how much stress plays a massive part in weight gain – you only have to track your own behaviour patterns to notice it. The next time you binge out… Think about what happened half an hour before, I bet you can start to see a pattern and that’s a good first step to change. But what’s the solution apart from taking to food as a way of comfort?

First of all, we need to realise that whatever the situation we’re in, things will improve over time. How quickly your progress is accelerated is linked directly to how much you’re willing to spend time learning or seeking the advice of people who are more qualified than you.

Expensive? It can be… But I bet you, your library holds the key to more than you could ever imagine.

More often than not, a stress can leave for a short time once we get a ‘state change’ such as someone coming to visit… but then completely niggle you subconsciously. This drains your energy and as result, we crave different foods, ones that don’t take us closer to our goal. When you’re feeling the life and soul of the party, you’re more inclined to eat more healthy, exercise and spread the love, so to speak. But how do we even get to that point, if we’re still down?

One of my old clients who I trained back in Exeter is called James Gardner and I can tell you now, James has been through a lot in his life. From a car accident that crippled him and claimed the life of his sister, in James’ self published book ‘On the Edge: Stepping Back From The Brink Of Suicide‘ he talks about his story and how Madonna inspired him through her love of Kabalah, has helped him tremendously.

In fact, getting emotions down on paper can be a massive help for anybody – I started keeping a journal on my ipad and there are loads of apps etc if you’re interested. Plus if you consider yourself to be a good writer and you’ve overcome something like James has, stepping back from literally taking his own life, you can inspire a lot of people.

I’m not a brilliant writer by any stretch, but I’ve got better over time and you can do the same with any part of your life. Just like a man or woman climbs a mountain, you just need to look up and get going. Stop looking down so much…

I find that in times of stress, if I divert my energy to other people, that really helps, but of course, that still leaves the main problem lurking to raise its head once again…

Personally in the past I’ve used Tony Robbins’ Personal Power II course (not cheap, but then it’s 25+ or so cds) and I know that it’s helped many people. For me it reframed the way I thought about certain situations and works so well because you listen to one audio file every day for a month. When you do that, and stick to it (which most people fine hard – set a time and day to do it and don’t forget), it really does start to ‘stick’. Tony is a powerful talker and hugely motivational and you should just type his name into youtube if you get a moment and watch him.

But, remember that you still need to ‘top up’. I do, and do so on a regular basis, whether its the same program, or something different. You’ll find what works best for you. On that note, you may find books better, or DVDs, or audios, maybe in person with someone is your more preferred choice.

A lot of the time, people are too afraid to take that first step and if that’s you, I’d encourage you to start looking at different types of therapy – of course I don’t know what would be completely right for you, but I can tell you now that there will be help. One of the biggest mistakes is thinking that the help available won’t work.

Trevor Hoskisson, the Harley Street NLP and hypnotherapist who I worked with on Weight Loss Mind Power For Life told me a long time ago that in order to a therapy to work, the client must really want the solution to the problem. They must want it with all of their heart, fire and passion – to make a change for life. Most people just don’t want it enough. Of course nobody wants to be depressed, yet people find it hard to seek proper help, or at least, don’t know where to turn. I hope I’m about to at least give you a starting point in this post.

Back to trying different therapies – remember that there are experts out there who can completely transform the way you think and it’s very important to first of all get rapport and like the person you’re working with. Some people just aren’t a good match. And just like some people don’t like gyms or playing tennis and basketball, you need to find that therapy that matches your needs. If something doesn’t work the first time, don’t instantly start getting more down because it didn’t work. It’s time for you to sit up and go in search of another solution until finally, you will get the answer you’ve been looking for.

You will get to the place you want to be, but you need to enlist the help of others, just like a businessman would draft in experts if he wasn’t able to do it himself.

Remember, you’re not alone – things happen during life and I’ve learned personally that more people are in the same boat than you think. Step by step, little by little, start to seek out help, whether it’s youtube videos about motivation, reading books like The Secret book or DVD, calling therapists for a free chat, exercising, eating healthy or just taking the time to pamper yourself.

In fact, here’s the first 20 minutes of the secret right here… This may be just the video to kickstart you, if it does then that will put a smile on my face.

Remember, your weight may be down to a stress issue that’s completely not related to weight at all, so even typing ‘how to deal with’ and then your main problem such as ‘loss of a loved one’ can bring up a plethora of options and solutions for you. Just ask google, it really does have the answer to most things, but many people forget to even look. For example, if Panic Attacks are something that are holding you back you could type in ‘How to deal with panic attacks’, or there’s a great program called Panic Away.

Just one, step… do it today… another tomorrow and you will get there I promise. I’d love to hear your story in the comments or maybe you could share some tips for others to use?

For now, I’m going to learn more so I can share it with you (please share this post if you know someone who is down!)…. but just before you go, watch this…